RANDOM MUSINGS


I am a greedy girl. I am sitting here in my balcony at dusk, with the cool breeze bringing a sense of peace, of calm, but not contentment. For right now, I wish I was at an isolated sea shore feeling this same, strong, cool breeze…only tangy with the salt carried in it by the salty water of the sea, the sound of the sea waves crashing filling my ears. When I close my eyes, I can almost imagine myself there.

But then, almost was never good enough.

It is dreams like these that bring me back to the pain staking reality… that I am here in a balcony and not on the shore…

This is why I write. It helps me merge the lines between fact and fictions… I can write a new story, a new daydream and loose myself in it, and I have written my story in many different ways. I have given it many different twists and turns…given it many a happy endings…

like the one in which I realize I can do magic or the one in which I settle in a small unassuming town in Italy and weave stories that enthrall many a readers…or my favorite, most cherished story which ends with me on my death bed, an old 90 year old… and I tell the one standing next to me, that as a girl I had dreams, big dreams… and I fulfilled them all! Sometimes I like to merge all three and more…

And then soon, I am startled out of my day dream… I realize I am just writing words on a virtual screen, and tomorrow, it’ll be the rat race and mind games all over again.

Whenever I pray, I ask God for this: Keep me happy, Keep me safe, and Give me strength and wisdom to make my dreams come true.

I imagine the Big Ol’ Chap gazing down at me, with this big goofy grin, and shaking his head at my naivety saying, “Tall Order, Lady.”

And I just hope that he adds to it, under his breath, “I’ll see what I can do!”

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