As on 29th Jan 2010


Hello people. Last week was bad. Mostly, this was because my attitude was bad. I had some external help, however.

PROFESSIONALLY

  1. I am still placement-less. My value system and the ideals I hold dear are fast diminishing into nothingness. It is as if I would never fit in if I don’t change. And I do not want to change.
  2. My live project on most occasions is a terrific sleep inducer. The only thing that keeps me going at it is the fact that I took it up, gave my word to do a good job of it and so it is what I am doing.

ROMANTICALLY

  1. There is a joke. Nothing- nada- nil. After a very, very long time- I am crush less. No one interests me anymore, and the feelings seem to be reciprocated.
  2. I don’t even feel envious of the ones who are head over heels, let’s elope kind of gooey, mushy, lets-grow-old-together type of disillusionment. I used to find it amusing. Now I am just sure that it is something I’m better off without. Too much work.

PERSONALLY

  1. My idealism and honesty-is-the-best-policy approach seems not work in today’s world. It is what gets me kicked out of interviews, makes me fight with close friends, makes my parents call me naive and leads to disappointments in general.
  2. People, I have realized are always hypocrites- they show what is supposed to be shown according to the situation. Since it is a manner of living that is considered prudent, it is me who would always suffer due to the inability to condone such a practice.
  3. I lost my phone, again- being the klutz that I am. It’s not so much of an issue though. It has happened at a time when I feel like a total misanthrope and so I do not miss the gadget at all. It’s been 3 days with me phone-less, and I have no inclination to replace it with a new one.
  4. You never know what your so called friends are up to…how they are using you… how perverted they can get… how blatantly and unashamedly they can run you over. At times like these, I feel like reverting to my old self back in school- vehemently independent and one who never took one piece of shit from anyone, no matter what the consequences. It was hard then, but was so totally worth it.

FAMILY

  1. Family… what Family??? I have not seen my parents in ages- and it sure seems that when in April, I’ll see them it would not be in the best of circumstances coz I’d be in all probability- Unemployed, or worse employed in a drab job.
  2. I have a niece, my first- who would be 5 months on Feb 2 and I have not even seen her in person.

INTERESTS

  1. I used to be happy while I wrote my blogs
  2. I used to get excited at the prospects of travelling- now all I think about is how much of a crowd I’d have to deal with. And if I plan on a solo trip, my parents get all worked up.
  3. I used to like to shop- Now I find that pointless too.
  4. I used to observe people with awe and amusement. Today, I do it with an approach that is akin to a sarcastic, cynical sadist.

Anyway,I can only deal with it the one way I know how- Laughter- at the cosmic joke that is being played at my expense… Frustration has given way to hysteria… People beware

As on 29th Jan 2010

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