IN ANGER


I just realized something. We are all super moronic hypocrites. All of us, un-exceptionally.

We are liars. In the present world, where the simplest of feelings are so complex, we are the epitome of impatience and distrust and as a consequence, easy-to-accept-convenience-theories-rather-than-face-reality syndrome prevails. What is so amusing to me is the fact that all of us know we are liars…Hell, we lie to ourselves all the bloody time- but if someone was to call us a liar, we would get all offended and sulk with our bruised ego!

There are some people who suffer from a superiority complex. It’s not that they try to show they are superior, they just so strongly believe in than the fact that they are better than everyone else, that they consciously try to hide the fact. Think about it. Here is a person, who may be real good at couple of things, but like everyone else is not without flaws- but to himself, or herself: “I am better than 90% of the crowd here.” Now to this person, everyone else seems like “poor old souls in need of unsolicited advice” or “people worthy of pointing fingers at, laughing at their choices, or in general looking down upon their way of living their life because it is in any other format other than theirs.”

All those who agree to the above paragraph, stop nodding. This is about you. For all the times you laughed at someone’s dress sense, someone’s grammar, someone’s marks. It is you. For all the times you gave unsolicited, un-asked for advice, or comments, for every time you made fun of people who were minding their own business and having the time of their lives. You are the person I am talking about. I am the person I am talking about.

That’s another trend we new generation-ites have started. “I know it’s wrong. I know I am being bad. But I can’t help it!” Can’t or won’t? It’s tougher to stop yourself, to discipline yourself and condition yourself into doing the right thing! Who’ll put in so much effort? What’s the use of putting so much effort, anyway? It is not like it pays off! But if someone (God forbid) dares to do us wrong… There’d be hell… there’d be tears, loud shouting, sulking… and in all cases: vengeance.

Which brings me to the third vice: Vengeance. For all those who say, I’m not vengeful, and for those who say I’m vengeful only when the party deserves it, think again. When you stop talking to an old friend, or an acquaintance for that matter because of a fight (even if it is for the littlest time), when to a person who crossed a line, one long dreary winter back; when to him you pass an offhand comment bringing attention to that fact; when in an argument, you underline the other person’s flaws- that’s all vengeance. But there is a subtler, more deadly vengeance out there.

It’s when your conscience starts beating you up for the person you have become. Dunno about you guys reading the post, but I know one thing about me. And that is that I am about 3-4 people in one body. And at different times, I have been different people. These different people don’t really like each other. They just put up with each other. I’m the daughter my parents want me to be, I am the teenager who led a very safe life making all the right decisions, I’m the 20-ish something who says “ I don’t think I’ve really lived… what’s more, I think I don’t even know how!”& I’m the person who says, “I’m indifferent” when what I really mean is that I’d like to be indifferent.

Lastly, the vice we all share is fear. You know it and I know it. It’s when our hearts go to the pit of our stomachs and stay there growing tentacles that tie up in super tight knots. But mostly, in today’s scenario, I see a not so conspicuous fear- I see it as a fear to work, to put in effort. But there is a reason for that. If we set our standards high, we’ll have to meet them. It’s the comfort of mediocrity that we share. (I should have added the epitome of laziness to the opening paragraph.) And all this while we feel we are deserving candidates for all the goodness that the commercial world (or even the romantic world) out there has to offer.

That’s it. I rest my case. We are indeed, super moronic hypocrites. Now, since that is established, question is: what should I do with this epiphany?

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