Just to say Goodbye


My mother will tell me that typing this down is a dumb move, even if I don’t send this across.

I just wanted to let you know that I hate the fact that your life isn’t perfect right now and I hate the fact that I can’t share the pain with you. I’m sorrier than you can ever imagine for walking away, and staying away. It has not been easy. And a part of me does hope that it wasn’t easy for you, while another part (the good part) of me prays that I did not hurt you in any way.

With you, everything was & still is new. I have never felt the utter confusion, delusions, helplessness, joy or sorrow as when it was attached with you. I wish I could go back and undo and redo so many things, but my mind still tells me that it would be futile.

The point of this mail is simple, though. I still care, although I might seem not to. I pray for your happiness each night, although I ignore you when I see you.

When times get hard, and you get messed up, know that someone believes in all that you do and in the twisted ways you do it; someone misses you, even though she’d laugh at such a notion in public; know that someone cared, still cares and thinks about you fondly.

You are talented, independent and fierce. And that’s a combination Kings are made of. Someday, you’ll rule the world, even as it conspires day and night against you. I have faith. I hope you do too.

I have a feeling we won’t get to say Goodbye. I just wanted to say goodbye. Hope you always have all that you need, and much, much more.

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2 thoughts on “Just to say Goodbye

  1. kailash says:

    @harsimran: uv actually put most of those messed up,contradictory and utterly confusing feelings which come to mind when it is the time to say “Goodbye” into words…kudos for that…was especially comforting to read cuz now i know its not just me and that we all are just as messed up at times…Well done.

    Like

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