Writer’s Block


Me: It was summer.

Her: Why summer? And why the hell should all stories begin with weather?

Me: Alright, Alright…

She was just a plain old girl.

Her: Why a girl? Why do all your protagonists have to be females?

Me: Well, Duh… because I can relate to it… bring an aspect of reality… I don’t know what a guy thinks about… Oh wait…I don’t really want to know…

Her: Man, talk about stereotyping! And you call yourself a writer… no imagination… you know you should quit while you are ahead! Anyway, anyone with half a brain knows what items are on the priority list of the thought aspect of a guy!

Me: And that ain’t stereotyping? Anyway, I’d rather make the protagonist a female. And I don’t call myself a writer…I just like to you know…

Her: Oh, save it! How about the protagonist is a white shirted, broad shouldered, dewy brown eyed man?

Me: No.

Her: Tsk Tsk… and by the way, why is she ‘just plain old’? Why ain’t she sophisticated, and suave, and somewhat of a man-eater?

Me: *EYES WIDE* How can you even think stuff like this… I mean, what about holding on to innocence!?

Her: Oh, Grow up! Bring about an element of surprise in your writing. Everyone sees you and your writing as Safe! Go do something exciting! Paint the pages RED!

Me: Right. Red. Not Safe.

…………………………………………………………………………………

………………………………………………………………………………..

Her: Well, start the goddamn story

Me: It was a red day. And she didn’t feel like playing safe…

Her: Uh-huh! That’s a great start… what happens next?

………………………………………………….

……………………………………………….

Her: Weeeeeeeeeellllll???

Me: Oh, Shut up! For a non-existent voice in my head you have done alotta damage. I now have nothing to write about! God Damn-it!

Her: Bah, Blasphemy!

*I go Google something*

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