Do you know that deep sinking feeling that you get when you have a sudden epiphany about something… something so “in your face”, yet “invisible” – that you get that feeling like someone has just slapped you across the face?
Well, I just went through it.
The epiphany is this- I’m really selfish!
All my decisions are made taking into account ONLY my dreams… ONLY my comfort… ONLY my twisted, unreasonable, split-second reasoning.
I don’t take into consideration my parents’ anxiety when I go for solo trips… I don’t take into consideration the chirpy humour of a friend when he tries to fiddle with the silly lines I draw… I don’t take into consideration the fact that there are people who only have my best interests in mind while I put them down in a fashion that should be punishable by law.
The epiphany is this: For most of my life, I’ve been telling people that I’m “indifferent to most stuff”. Today I realised that phrase should have been “Selfish and Cold.”
Would I change it-Today, Right now-When the epiphany and self loathing is at its highest?
The answer is No. I’m selfish remember… and so is my soul.
Your’s Own’s Truly.