Bold, Flirtatious Me!

 As I waited at the airport, I replayed the three most recent conversations I’d had. Each had the same underlying message. I repelled overtures. Was it true? I had always assumed that I just did not attract attention that way… that no one would give me a second look as I passed them and that it wasn’t because of anything I did or did not do. It was just the way that cookie crumbled. But the last three conversations told me different. Was my stern, no-nonsense expression a potential deterrent to any likely new association? Was my love for music via my earphones the main villain in any love story I might have been a part of? I was aware that it was the habit that got me branded as a snoot in college. Was I too detached when it came to strangers? Well, I wondered, all that was in my hands. If I wanted, I could control and change all of these behaviors. But would it help?

‘No time like the present!’ read the title of what I assume was a self-help book in the hands of a geeky looking, thin, short man in faded orange sweatshirt. ‘No time like the present’ said my head to my heart… I could already see my naughty avatar get warmed up to do something obnoxious.

My flight was boarding. A lot depended on who I would be seated with. I had the last seat in the airbus, and by the look of the crowd, air-bus was completely apt nomenclature for this flight. I decidedly put my i-pod away shook myself out of my usual expression and plastered a social disposition to my entire character. Bold, flirtatious Me was ready for her first bold, flirtatious move… should she find a worthy subject.

Last seats mean your style is cramped up and you have no space in the overhead bin for your stuff. It was, hence a given that I’d look around for an airhostess to help me out. Only, I was faced with a gorgeous air-host! He sort of just ‘appeared’ out of thin air with a professional, courteous smile… and me? Well, I was already in character. Here’s the low down on how different my reaction to everything was.

The Scenario What I would have usually done What I ended up doing
A good looking guy magically appears to help you with your stuff Smile politely and say thank you. Put earphones on and read a novel. Grin from ear to ear on meeting my first subject. Made eye contact. Ask his name and thank him by name. Did I mention eye contact and grinning?
The guy moves about in the aisle Not notice. Or Notice covertly. Ears and eyes busy with earphones and novel. Overt noticing. Novel just a stop gap solution between the appearances of the magic boy. Eye contact and blushing. The blushing here was inadvertent though.
The guy gives you additional bottles of water and juice without you asking for it Smile politely and say, “No, thank you” so as to discourage any potential issues later. Put earphones on and read a novel. Laugh at the second glass of juice magically appearing. Enjoy the special attention. Say, “I’m sure I’m not entitled for this.” Get a wink in return. Realize that never has a guy winked at you and that you don’t particularly like the freedom this strange guy is enjoying with you.
During snack time NA Get another wink. Stay undecided whether you want to laugh at the boldness of the guy or rip his head off.
While disembarking NA Be told by the guy that you have a pretty smile. Laugh wholeheartedly because you just can’t believe a stranger has finally said something like that to you. That first is finally here. And realize in hindsight, that your friends were probably on to something.

 … but though my friends may be on to something, another thing came to my notice in sharp contrast. ‘Flirtatious, Bold Me’ will always just be a character… a mask I put on when I am bored and need entertainment. It isn’t something that comes naturally to me, and frankly it isn’t something that I could do frequently. I finally know that I can flirt… that if it came to down to dirty, I could make a few moves of my own… question just is- how frequently would I put the knowledge and art to practice. And if I don’t would I still be considered snooty and unworthy of attention.


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