Dear God – You’re promoted to – My Chief Happiness Officer


Dear God,

I would like to begin this letter by thanking you for the blessed life I lead – and would like to point out that there is still some scope of improvement. Don’t mistake me, I am very happy with all existing things that I have in my life…it’s just the non-existent stuff that need some existing… and yes in true corporate form – I needed that to happen yesterday.

I do believe that you have done the best job in the things you’ve paid attention to in my life, but I would like to request you to kindly increase your scope of attention to encompass the things you’ve missed out, while paying the current amount of attention to the existing green areas. We call this as role expansion & enhancement in corporate lingo and yes – much like the same, dear God, I am promoting you to the coveted post of my chief happiness officer.

So now I’d like to give you a brief on the KRAs you are expected to achieve till the end of this current financial year (That’s March 2013- FYI).  I want money! Like oodles and oodles of money! I know I have ‘enough’ – I just need much more than ‘just enough’. Much, much more – like being able to buy a car, a house on a whim kind of rich… so, dear God – get me there!

Secondly, don’t you think it’s about time I had a man in my life besides my dad? I was such a good girl in my teenage years – keeping myself in check and meeting all expectations that my parents set down for me by doing well in school, staying away from boys & boyfriends and all that jazz… and what do I get in return for being that good girl – INEXPERIENCE! Now what kind of justice is that? All the good men are taken by girls who had enough sense to catch on early in life (read school/college) and this was the time when I was living up to my parents’ expectation to the hilt! If what goes around, comes around is true, in what universe is it ok for you to not send ONE guy who interests me & who can find me fun in return?

Third, what’s up with the crazy metabolism you give some people? And why have you neglected to bestow me with the same? Either you take away my craving to eat carbs – or you give me a great metabolism! Ok? Alright? Ok!!! – did I mention that I am very thankful for everything I’ve got from you till now… these are just additions…. Enhancements, if you may… Don’t get defensive at my tone – just deliver the results soon, please.

Fourth, and this I say as an afterthought – you could make me a bit smarter, you know. I think my brain is de-evolving – I’m more dull, than sharp; more lethargic, than active; more ‘bleh’ than ‘yay’ – if you get the drift… so yea: Make me smarter – it doesn’t help that I’m a usual brunette who more often than not is like the usual blonde – and that too only in brains, and not in looks.

Fifth – I need to the best in what I do, God! I do! So if this is not the career/job/team where I can be the best, well then push me in the direction where I can be! I can’t tolerate being the second fiddle in my professional life & I don’t want to tolerate it, either. So, much like you saved me from my last job – make this one a better fit and a spectacular hit – and given the lack of love-life you’ve bestowed me with (and even if you do bestow me with it, in time) – please ensure that at least in my professional life, I build myself a name which is to be reckoned with.

That’s about it!

Thanks for everything… looking forward towards a lot more (yes – I’m greedy… you would know – you made me!!)

Loads of Love

Harsimran

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