The Empty Life

where do I start?
where will I end?
my seemingly calm life
such a chaotic blend

of lies to others
of lies to self
of lies to protect
the heart kept upon the shelf

what did I do?
I did everything wrong
stayed away
or went where I did not belong

so many times
love smiled my way
I smiled back
and waved it away

naive that I was
had a shallow dream
and now after so long
I realize, I am swimming in the wrong stream

for suddenly,
what I always wanted, I dont want that at all
and all I ever ran from
seems all that can save my fall.

so this is me
empty, as empty emptiness can be
waiting so long, shivering so hard,
loving so much a notion….. till reality rescues me.


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