Keep Him Drunk

I found myself an upstanding man
Such a thorough male, tall and tan
Careful and proper, right to the core
Yes, I found myself a ridiculous bore.
No, don’t misquote me, bartender dear
He is a darlin’, that much is clear
What I mean is that he just needs some exposure
So Mr. Bartender, don’t keep him sober.
Let’s mix him a drink, long and fine
Beer, Whiskey, Vodka… and a dash of wine.
I assure you it’s not anything he can’t handle
But, I’ve always wanted a part in a scandal
So he downed one, two…eight of those
He shouted glory to God, and finally came too close
He ripped his office shirt, in the name of punk
Dear bartender, Please keep him drunk…
He finally showed that he could shed
That shy demeanor and where it led
He shot one too many fake slam dunks
Then cried in victory; Oh, I love him drunk!
Tomorrow, he may have a hangover
But the drama tonight, it’s yet not over
Who knew that he could be so much fun?
Not just a 9 to 5 man, when the day is done.
We took a good man, and made him bad
A middle-aged turned into a teenage lad
My average Joe became a Greek God Hunk
From now onwards, let’s keep him drunk.
*Madira ka sevan aapki sehat ke liye hanikarak ho sakta hai*: Aapki seva mein, jan hit mein jaari
*Alchohol consumption is injurious to health*: Issued in public interest.

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